Raising Wilshire's Grandparents

Blogoir about caregiving for Asian American immigrant parents

Driving Mr. Wilshire (when we should’ve walked or biked instead)


The kids and I really should have walked. Or biked. But we (the moms) didn’t think we could get to our destinations safely – and we were trip-chaining under time constraints. Transportation scholars would tell you our line of decisions are common amongst moms everywhere.

Wilshire had a busy Saturday morning. He got to go together with his neighborfriend to Virginia Avenue Park, where they also host a weekly farmers’ market, and then to the pool for his first swim lesson of the year. All of this was made convenient because my car seat (a Chicco NextFit) is easy to install–so we only had to take one car–and because there was free parking at our two destinations (the park and the pool).

We really should have walked. Or biked. Virginia Avenue Park may have free parking for cars, but they’ll valet your bike!  I was with a friend who is very comfortable riding a bike; she is the yin to my yang. The park was about a mile away. The pool was six blocks east of the park.

The bus was off the table, even though I can ride for free, because the two routes that go between my house, the park, and the pool don’t run on weekends.

I’ve walked to this park before. It necessitates walking along Cloverfield Boulevard, a fast-moving north/south street between my house and the park, and  crossing the on- and off-ramps for the I-10 freeway. I worry about not being seen by motorists entering and exiting the freeway. It’s not an irrational concern. Last year in Santa Monica (2017), 8 pedestrians died last year – and this doesn’t even reflect the close calls I experience, and they are numerous because I still walk with my son every day.

I cannot even begin to fathom riding my bicycle on Cloverfield Boulevard with my child. Not yet. Not right now. Not until that street design changes. And I am hopeful that it will change, but I can’t tell you when.

As I was looking through photos from our playdate, I remembered an essay written by my friend Katie Matchett, a fellow transportation planner and mother of two kids now living in San Diego, about how poor street design forces most women to default to getting in a car. Here’s an excerpt from the essay posted to her blog, Where the Sidewalk Starts:

My choice, like so many of women’s travel choices, was based primarily on safety. I was confident the kids could walk that far, and I knew it would be the healthier and more interesting choice for all of us–but without good walkability, I wasn’t sure that I could keep them all safe.

All across the country women, in particular mothers, make similar choices every day. Poor street design, disparate land use, time constraints, lack of personal safety—all of these conspire to force women off their feet and into cars. We have built a transportation system that discounts women’s travel needs, and women—and our communities—are suffering for it.

Alright, enough of the serious talk. Below are pics of the kids.
They are precious.
Will enjoyed sitting on the horsey

We saw this too.

A few weeks ago, a group of residents in Santa Monica officially launched a petition drive to solicit enough signatures to put a measure to institute term limits for our city council. (There are no term limits presently in Santa Monica. LA limits councilmembers to 12 years.) While I have no position on the issue, I did find it reassuring that I also recognized the woman soliciting signatures. Even if I do not agree with her most of the time, she is part of my community and I am part of hers. 

Until next time,


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